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| Donald & Jamie Hadlock |
Donald Carlton Hadlock and Jamie Leigh Brackenbury who were legally married on September 23, 2011 in Lindon, Utah, were sealed as husband and wife, according to the ordinance of God, for time and eternity in the Salt Lake Temple, on December 4, 2012.
If I said that this seems so surreal to me, it'd be the understatement of the year. A year ago I would've laughed if someone even mentioned the idea. Funny what curves life throws in the road that send you flying down an unbeaten path to Heaven. I now know that I accepted God's plan and chose to experience a mortal existence, to bear children to love and care for, and to become an Eternal Family.
I have not always chosen the straight and narrow path for it is a hard one to traverse without guidance and support. I denied what I knew in my heart at every turn in the road. I took great pride in always doing what I felt was right, as a parent anyway. I didn't think there was anything I couldn't take in stride, nothing I couldn't just "roll with". I was wrong.
When a parent is faced with doubt and uncertainty, it is one of the most frightening feelings imaginable. When you don't have the answers or the right words to comfort, you feel helpless. I, have never felt helpless as a parent. I always had advice, I always had an answer, I always had experience to share, but not this time.
When you find yourself helpless and afraid, is it a friend or loved one you turn to? Maybe. Is it one of your own parents you ask for advice? Maybe. Consult the internet for answers? Maybe. Or just maybe...you turn to God. I said a simple prayer to God to give me the strength and wisdom to know what to do. My prayer was answered. But not in the way I expected. Here I am, 9 months later. A survivor of a tragedy. One of many. Not even one of the worst but a tragedy all the same. Do I still feel sad? Sometimes. Do I still feel insecure, that maybe I didn't do all the right things? Every day. But my prayers were answered. Not just the one I said out loud but all the silent prayers of my heart.
Here I am. A new person. A righteous example to my children. I am obligated by a "sacred duty to rear my children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live". I will be accountable before God according to my discharge of these duties and I intend to succeed.
I am the happiest I have ever been. There is a completeness of Spirit and a contentment that I can't begin to put into words. I am at peace with the inner demons of guilt and failure. I am at peace with the resentment of childhood disappointments. I am a daughter with an eternal identity and a divine purpose. I cannot express the love I feel for the people who have supported me and always remained faithful in that support. The people who knew the potential was there and never wavered in their hope that I would someday have a change of heart.
I would like express my gratitude to my friends in the ward and at work who have given words of encouragement. I would like to say thank you with all my heart to my friend, Craig J. Wintle, who eagerly answered my questions about the gospel with an enthusiasm I can compare to none, who was my witness at my Sealing and who I love like family.
I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it...
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| The Cedarstrom-Hadlock Family |
